Thanks all and here's to the new year!

Thanks everyone for your kind words and encouragement. It really helps to know that you can reach out and some one will take your hand for awhile and help you through.

Well, I take each day at a time and it seems the funny stuff is really funny and I laugh really hard and the sad stuff is just respected for what it is. Sad stuff or stressfull stuff has lost it's sting and I now look at it with as little emotion as possible except to respect the situation and do the best to deal with it. If that is what they call putting up a wall then so be it but getting depressed or making myself sick over things I cannot control is not going to help any one especially me.

Here are my plans for the future....!

I want to go to Irland and kiss the best looking guy there.

I will get into a size 9 by dancing every day and laughing until it hurts.

I want to ride horses again and play the french horn again.

I will write one letter a month until I have written every person I hold dear to let them know I love them.

I want to be the best Grandma in the world.

I am going to volunteer at the hospital to hold babies and children who are sick and who's parents can't be there.

I want to fall asleep in the arms of my daughters every once and awhile.

I want to pray like it may be my last prayer.

And....I want to make 3 people smile every day.

Take each day like it's your last

Hello and sorry for not blogging sooner, lots going on here.

My hero, the love of my life, my sweet Dad has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and has been given maybe a year, if chemo and radiation works, less if it does not.

He also has diabetes and this has caused problems with that and I now have to give him insulin shots. I spend most of my days getting him his medicine, food, shots, and getting him to his radiation treatments each day and Dr and lab appts.

My mom bless her heart is hanging in there and also doing all she can, I worry about her because she has high blood pressure and it's tough for her to watch her sweetheart get ill.

I am so glad I am here and able to help, financially I am screwed but ya know....to hell with it. I'd rather spend time with my Dad now that he needs me and I have faith that all will work out.

I watch my Dad each day reflecting on his life and wanting to do better with the time he has left, it kind of reminds me of that song "you should live like you were dying". He stops and talks to little children, he says hello to everyone he sees, he watches more sunrises and gives everyone hugs. I wonder and watch and think that I should be doing the same and not wait for the end to enjoy and make a difference in this world.

Some days I just want to keep my head in my pillow and cry and cry till it doesn't hurt any more but then I remember that it isn't about me, it's about making my Dad comfortable and making his every day a brighter day.

So family and friends, I love you all truly and whole heartily believe that. I want to give you all a big huge, I want to be there for you when you need someone, I'd take a pie in the face if it will put a smile on yours, if I had it all I'd give it all to you. Watch the sunrises in your life and listen to the old guys and play with the little guys.

Here we are and aren't we a scarry bunch!

I was a corpse bride...spooky