Thanks all and here's to the new year!

Thanks everyone for your kind words and encouragement. It really helps to know that you can reach out and some one will take your hand for awhile and help you through.

Well, I take each day at a time and it seems the funny stuff is really funny and I laugh really hard and the sad stuff is just respected for what it is. Sad stuff or stressfull stuff has lost it's sting and I now look at it with as little emotion as possible except to respect the situation and do the best to deal with it. If that is what they call putting up a wall then so be it but getting depressed or making myself sick over things I cannot control is not going to help any one especially me.

Here are my plans for the future....!

I want to go to Irland and kiss the best looking guy there.

I will get into a size 9 by dancing every day and laughing until it hurts.

I want to ride horses again and play the french horn again.

I will write one letter a month until I have written every person I hold dear to let them know I love them.

I want to be the best Grandma in the world.

I am going to volunteer at the hospital to hold babies and children who are sick and who's parents can't be there.

I want to fall asleep in the arms of my daughters every once and awhile.

I want to pray like it may be my last prayer.

And....I want to make 3 people smile every day.

Take each day like it's your last

Hello and sorry for not blogging sooner, lots going on here.

My hero, the love of my life, my sweet Dad has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and has been given maybe a year, if chemo and radiation works, less if it does not.

He also has diabetes and this has caused problems with that and I now have to give him insulin shots. I spend most of my days getting him his medicine, food, shots, and getting him to his radiation treatments each day and Dr and lab appts.

My mom bless her heart is hanging in there and also doing all she can, I worry about her because she has high blood pressure and it's tough for her to watch her sweetheart get ill.

I am so glad I am here and able to help, financially I am screwed but ya know....to hell with it. I'd rather spend time with my Dad now that he needs me and I have faith that all will work out.

I watch my Dad each day reflecting on his life and wanting to do better with the time he has left, it kind of reminds me of that song "you should live like you were dying". He stops and talks to little children, he says hello to everyone he sees, he watches more sunrises and gives everyone hugs. I wonder and watch and think that I should be doing the same and not wait for the end to enjoy and make a difference in this world.

Some days I just want to keep my head in my pillow and cry and cry till it doesn't hurt any more but then I remember that it isn't about me, it's about making my Dad comfortable and making his every day a brighter day.

So family and friends, I love you all truly and whole heartily believe that. I want to give you all a big huge, I want to be there for you when you need someone, I'd take a pie in the face if it will put a smile on yours, if I had it all I'd give it all to you. Watch the sunrises in your life and listen to the old guys and play with the little guys.

Here we are and aren't we a scarry bunch!

I was a corpse bride...spooky

Oh the wonderful world of computer problems

So about four days ago I went to log onto the internet and couldn't, then after multiple calls to the verizon tech support I was told that my v-card was not responding and that I would need a new one....and OF COURSE the warranty expired last month...go figure. So I had to buy another one which extended the contract out another year OF COURSE. So finally I am back into the swing of things....they do have a rebate offer but OF COURSE it is going to take upto six weeks to get it back.

On another note, I am so excited it it is almost Thanksgiving and I'll get to see family and have lots of laughs and hugs.

November, what a great month!

O.k. so the holiday season is here, and the best part is seeing family and friends.

I feel like so much has happened these past week or two that there just isn't enough space to write about it all. Suffice to say the only thing constant is change.

I am yet again re-grouping, re-dedicating, re-vamping, re-organizing, and re-winding.

I wish someone would tell me what I'm supposed to be when I grow up!

A cool fall wind has begun to blow down here, the tall grass has all turned yellow, the mountains are a deep set blue, the mesquite trees are all loosing their leaves and look like upside down roots. It's time to get ready for winter and pull my sweaters forward and t-shirts backwards, find all my woolly warm socks, and plug in the electric blankets.

Now if only I could find me a tall handsome prince to snuggle up with and drink hot coco.

I love you all and hope everyone is well and happy.

Must be in the wind!

O.k. so, we are quarantined out here, Winter is sick, Aydin is getting sick, my brothers kids are all sick, Ala feels sick and me,,,,I'm just keepin my fingers crossed that I don't get a hold of anything. Talk about cabin fever! We sit in the house all day watching kid shows and running to the bathroom and passin out the cold medicine. I AM IN DESPERATE NEED OF ADULT CONVERSATION!! I think Dora the Explorer is stalking me, GAbba Gabba is bent on driving me insane, and I think I'm starting to have a crush on Spong Bob, with his spunky little can do attitude....see there I go again thinking about his cute little square head. The weather is getting cooler and the wind is blowing a little more so not so many critters scuttering about, that is except the havalinas, we are seeing them allot more. Any who,,,,hopefully everyone will get better and I can get out and save what's left of my sanity.

My Childhood Heaven

Heaven is a sycamore tree in the middle of a wash with an old swing rope, it’s running with my sister bare foot in cut off shorts and the suns shining warm rays on the bridge of my nose and top of my lip, it’s the sound of laughter tickling the air and the warm breeze bending the tall yellow grass and slapping the giant sycamore leaves, it’s the cackle of the chickens and a black and white dog barking at a skinny little red haired boy on the hill. It is the smell of old black walnut trees, sun licked river rocks, and pinto beans cooking slowly on the stove that come from a faded green A Frame house on a drift of wind. It’s tree lizards, cow tanks, water snakes, my father’s old Pontiac on blocks, a brick fire place, a big grey cat named Thomas, Mom and Dad dancing in the kitchen, and knowing that each day will be the same.